Dying Matters Awareness Week: Brighton Events To Challenge The Stigma Around Death

The Jubilee Library in central Brighton is hosting talks and exhibitions to help break the stigma surrounding death this Dying Matters Awareness Week.

Everyone will encounter death at some point in their life and yet most people find it almost impossible to talk about. 

Struggling to communicate about death often results in missing out on adequate support while dealing with bereavement and grief or not getting the end of life we wished for when it comes to our final moments.

A wide range of events are planned from Tuesday, May 9 to Sunday, May 14, to show that talking about death can not only be less challenging than we thought, but also uplifting and even invigorating.

Topics covered include:

• Death doulas and how to support those at end of life, their families and friends
• Taking charge of your final wishes and practicalities of funeral planning
• Bereavement support with dedicated events for the elderly and members of the LGBTQ+ community
• Talking to children and young people about bereavement and death
• Information on body donation for education and research

There’s also a relaxed opportunity for people to share their stories, views, or worries at a Death Café.

All events are free, no need to register, just drop in. 

Dying Matters is an awareness campaign run by Hospice UK.

Its aim is to bring people and communities together to create an open culture in which we’re comfortable talking about death and grief to reduce the associated stress, stigma and social isolation.

The theme of this year’s event is death, dying and grief in the workplace.

The programme:

Tuesday May 9

12 noon to 1pm Death Bingo! 

Join library officer Glenn for an insight as to why we use euphemisms for death and the importance of sometimes speaking plainly, followed by Euphemism bingo with terms for death from the UK and around the world.

1 to 2pm Bereavement Navigator pilot

A talk exploring bereavement services for older people in Brighton & Hove with Age UK.

2 to 2.30pm AIDS Memorial Project

An opportunity to remember those we have lost to HIV/AIDS through the portraits and testimonies of those who knew them. 

The Brighton AIDS Memorial was founded in April 2021 to capture the stories, photos and ephemera of the Brighton experience of the AIDS epidemic before the stories disappear.

2.45 to 3pm Time To Talk - A Good Death

Why should we plan ahead and address the unfinished business in our lives before we die? Emily Kenward, Founder & CEO at Time to Talk Befriending, will address this question by drawing from professional experience.

3.15 to 4.15pm Doing The Death Doula Do - walking alongside the dying as an end-of-life companion

Supporting those at end of life, their families and friends, Li Mills talks about how to approach the role of death doula with compassion, humour and the belief that we can live as fully as possible right up until out last breath.

Wednesday May 10

1 to 2pm Pre-planning Your Funeral With Last Wishes

OneSpirit Interfaith minister/celebrant Jean Francis presents a guide to funeral planning. Knowing that your final wishes are in place frees you up to enjoy life to the full.

3 to 4pm Louise On Death

Why I put my name next to Death: A talk about art, death, and curiosity, by artist and social innovator Louise Harman.

4 to 5pm Two Chaplains Discuss Death

Chris McDermott and James Croft – the former and current University Chaplains at the University of Sussex – represent different religious traditions. Chris is a Christian and Buddhist, while James is a Humanist. In this discussion, moderated by Louise Harman, Chris and James explore different religious perspectives on death, and share their own.

Thursday May 11

4 to 5pm Ceremony Matters 

Life celebrants Meriel Jones & Emer O’Toole talk about planning for life's events - taking charge of our final farewell to make it personal, memorable, empowering and affordable.

5 to 6pm American Beauty, Denise Levertov and Gillian Rose and the pathos of living in death's shadow

This talk with former Sussex University Chaplain Chris McDermott explores the way the film and the two authors engage with the matter of death. Looking at it from an aesthetic distance and from the perspective of their living and writing in the awareness of their own deaths from terminal illnesses. 

Friday May 12

2 to 3pm Death Bingo! 

Another chance to get a full house.

3 to 4pm Grief Encounters 

LGBTQ+ people face a number of additional challenges and stressors as well as the universal experience of grief, pain and sadness. This talk, led by charity Switchboard, will describe the support that they provide and the reasons that a dedicated and safe space is essential for the LGBTQ+ community. 

4 to 4.50pm Body Donation: Why we still need bodies 

Brighton and Sussex Medical School uses the generosity of individuals who donate their body to ensure high quality training of medical and allied health care students. This talk with Professor Claire Smith will explore what happens and what doesn’t happen when a body is donated for education and research.

Saturday May 13

10.15am to 12noon Life Stage - Ageing without Fear

Adam Duncan, founder of Life Stage, presents a fun talk about how you can change anxieties about ageing and death into connection and purpose.

1 to 1.30pm Books About Death For Children 

An opportunity to discover some of the many books available at our libraries about death and bereavement with Ian Trice from Brighton & Hove Libraries. 

From picture and chapter books to non-fiction and parenting books, we will be looking at how these can be used to introduce and explore this difficult theme and to support children experiencing bereavement.

2 to 3pm Teaching Young People About Bereavement

Find out about The Project Eileen Programme, a series of lessons provided to secondary schools to teach young people how to talk about bereavement, death, grief and vital life skills they can use to help themselves and others.

3 to 4pm Soul Midwifery, holistic end of life support. What can I do?

Hear from Soul Midwife Antonia Rolls who offers holistic, emotional and spiritual support to those facing the end of life, and their family and friends.

Sunday May 14

12 to 12.45pm Memento Mori

A Latin phrase meaning ‘remember (that you have) to die’. Rachel Poulton will be talking about the artistic and cultural traditions of memento mori and vanitas still life as well as discussing her accompanying photography exhibition.

1 to 1.30pm Brighton Companion Voices

Companion Voices invite you to hear your local Companions as they talk a little about the service they provide - bringing singing to the bedside of people at the end of life - and share a few of their songs.

2 to 3.15pm ‘DEAD GOOD’ film screening – conference room 2

A beautiful and intimate portrait by a director and producer Rehana Rose showing those dealing with their dead, supported by a team of women in Brighton & Hove who are 'giving death back to the people’.

3 to 4.45pm DEATH CAFÉ in the community space

Come along for a cuppa and to chat about death. We will be joined by several of our contributors from the week’s programme for this relaxed opportunity to discuss all things death.

Exhibitions: 

Foyer information point:

Antonia Rolls -‘A Graceful Death’ portrait paintings - Asking, through portraits and words, how it is to face mortality, whether our own or someone else’s.

Main Hall:

Jim Sanders - ‘Tempus Fugit – Time Flees’ - series of acrylic paintings on coffee sacks

Community Space:

Rachel Poulton - 'Memento Mori'- Sussex graveyards photography exhibition

The Brighton & Hove Interfaith Contact Group will also be hosting a day dedicated to death in life, faith and culture on Wednesday, May 10 in the Unitarian Church on New Road.

The day will include a fascinating range of activities such as film screenings, meditations, music, discussions, faith tables and charity stalls.

To find out more about the programme visit their website: interfaithcontactgroup.com/news-and-events/

Brighton & Hove’s libraries also offer books for loan advising on coping with grief and life after bereavement. Children’s non-fiction and fiction books help children understand and come to terms with the death of a loved one.