'Stalker Is A Strong Word, I Prefer Valentine' - Cards Called Out By Sussex PCC

Sussex's Police and Crime Commissioner has publicly called out greeting card and gift companies Thortful and Etsy for their 'stalking themed' Valentine's Day cards.

Thortful have removed a card from its site after National Stalking Lead for the Association of Police & Crime Commissioners, Katy Bourne, criticised it as 'romanticising' a serious crime.

Dear @thortful - please, pls reconsider and do not use stalking as a form of joke on your valentine’s cards (or any cards for that matter) out of respect for the thousands of victims living in fear of this awful crime. Thank you #StalkingIsNeverAJoke https://t.co/FPaRzcuQQR

— Katy Bourne OBE (@KatyBourne) February 8, 2021

2/2 On this occasion we can see that this card is upsetting and we have removed it from our catalogue with immediate effect, thank you once again for bringing this to our attention. Best wishes, Ella

— thortful (@thortful) February 9, 2021

PCC Katy Bourne used pictures of the cards found on both websites and posted them on Twitter.

Some featured the character Joe from Netflix series 'You', whose obsessive and fixated behaviour ends in kidnapping and homicide in season one.

Cards are being circulated with phrases like ‘stalker is a strong word, I prefer valentine’, or one with a google pin map reading 'you say stalker, I say devoted.’

Shopping for a Valentine’s Day card for her husband, PCC Katy Bourne spotted these cards and tweeted:

“Please do not use stalking as a form of a joke on your valentine’s cards out of respect for the thousands of victims living in fear of this awful crime.”

The tweet is receiving traction from the public and law enforcement agencies who are expressing their outrage.

Thanks for this post and for bringing this to people's attention, especially so close to Valentine's Day when many stalking victims may be triggered or receive unwanted gifts. As you mention, stalking is not a joke and should be taken seriously.

— Action Against Stalking (@ActionStalking) February 9, 2021

Claudia Ortiz who co-founded the stalking support service, Veritas Justice commented:

“Absolutely inappropriate to trivialise a crime that destroys lives and sometimes even takes lives!”

PCC Katy Bourne is herself a victim of stalking, facing years of torment, with unfounded claims made about her online and a threatening presence at events she attended as PCC in her home county of Sussex.

The courts imposed a civil injunction to prevent her stalker from contacting or writing about her and when this was breached, in 2018 he was sentenced to four months in prison, suspended for two years.

The experience has led her to campaign for improvement of people’s attitudes to stalking, and crucially the way it is dealt with by police and the courts.

She said:

“By normalising stalking in this way we are risking taking ten steps back in terms of public perception of this all-consuming, truly devastating crime.  

“Valentine’s Day is about celebrating all love and I want it made clear that stalking is never a display of love or affection.

“Stalkers have deep rooted and complex psychological problems and their display of fixated, obsessive, unwanted and repeated behaviours takes over and destroys the lives of their victims.

“We have seen how this crime can fatally escalate and it should never be treated as some sort of joke.

“I hope that all retailers will now appropriately censor the products that they stock and remove any of these types of cards from their websites and shelves.”

A Thortful spokesperson took to Twitter to apologise for any offence caused, adding:

“We can see that this card is upsetting and we have removed it from our catalogue with immediate effect, thank you for bringing this to our attention.”

Mrs Bourne thanked Thortful for acting swiftly in the manner of a responsible business.

Etsy have not yet replied.

Dear @Etsy -please, pls reconsider (as @thortful have) & do not use stalking as a form of joke on your valentine’s cards (or any cards for that matter) out of respect for the thousands of victims living in fear of this awful crime Thank you #StalkingIsNeverAJoke #StalkingIsACrime pic.twitter.com/BNB3Os91cr

— Katy Bourne OBE (@KatyBourne) February 9, 2021